Modern Jedi NLP Mind Mastery

Posts Tagged ‘RI’

Just got this question from one of my NLP students and clients. I’m sharing it with his permission.

Hi mark I am wondering before you do swish patterns and other NLP techniques, don’t we really have to clear our fears with the Timeline Therapy Techniques™?

When we worked together 1:1 and I was able to allow joy to come in my life for the first time, it was a good start but my other issues about living life and business issues are still coming up.

When a fear comes up should I do Timeline on myself with the issue to get it clear first?  In other words what is the checklist to follow for tools to use when a fear arises that is holding me back?  I feel at this point I  should be able to use the tools I am learning in your course and what I picked up at our breakthrough session .

I really understand that we are the only ones that can cure ourselves.  Thanks so much.

-Name Witheld

Here’s my response:

An important Key to NLP Success: As long as we’re alive stuff will come up. It’s like your Unconscious Mind  “gets” that it can release stuff now and so it keeps offering up new “layers” to be addressed. I also want to remind us all that when we do make a major shift to not discount it or negate it just because there is still more work to do. There will always be more to shift. That why it’s so cool to have a wide choice of NLP tools to choose from.

I find that when I clear something with timeline it typically stays cleared if I have gotten the root cause event. Sometimes, I’ve had to go back and clear a slightly different limiting decision that seemed to have the same root cause.

I prefer to do time line therapy techniques ® to clear the limiting decision and chain of negative emotions first. Then I’ll use the swish pattern to “program” the new response I want into my neurology. If you do a Swish pattern enough times it’s cool because the old negative “knee-jerk” trigger will now bring up the desired state or picture.

It’s hard to give a “check-list” of first do a. then b. then c. I tend to follow my intuition with what to do when.

What I love about NLP, Hypnosis, Time Line and EFT is that I can do a lot of things on my own to clear stuff that comes up at the moment it gets in my face. That’s one reason I truly believe in teaching my clients how to take charge of their own change rather than see me as the “curer” or “healer”.  That said, sometimes though we just can’t get enough leverage on our selves to shift something.  At those moments it can save a lot of time and angst to get help from a trained practitioner of NLP.

In those cases, I find it a lot easier to have someone else do it with me. That’s yet another benefit of the NLP Training because you not only learn how to do the NLP techniques on your own for yourself and for other people, but you actually get to take turns with the other students in being the “client” in our 4 day bootcamp. So you can clear a lot of your own stuff in the process of learning NLP. You also make friends with other people who “get” you and who are interested in clearing their own issues and blocks. So it makes a lot of sense to come to the training and then do trades afterward with the students you meet.

If I’m in a moment of  “challenge” and I just need to shift something immediately, I  use EFT.  I tap and speak the “set up phrase” LOUDLY! It seems the more emotion I have towards clearing something the more powerful EFT tapping is. If you’d like to learn more about EFT click here:  Get a free EFT Starter package

Here’s an example:

“Even though I thought I’d cleared this @#^&*$%!@$*%$!@# problem, I deeply and completely accept myself!”
I do a couple rounds unashamedly focusing on the problem and wallowing loudly in the whiny victim mode as much as I want while tapping the EFT acupressure points. I have so much fun with this that often that’s enough to snap me out of my funk!

Then I start feeding in positive how and why questions like:
“Even though I haven’t yet found and released the root cause event of this challenge, why do I deeply and completely accept myself?”

Finally I just tap on

“Why do I deeply and completely accept myself and why does it work out better than I can possibly imagine?”
“Why do I love myself? Why do I attract all the resources and assistance I need to clear this once and for all?”
Why do I resolve this in a way that’s even better than I can possibly imagine?”
etc.
Usually EFT clears  pretty much everything from headaches to limiting beliefs.

If it doesn’t do the job for a particular issue I will next use swish patterns and other NLP submodalities techniques to get relief.

If I’m still not shifting the issue, then I will call one of my students/colleagues and get them to do Time Line Therapy with me. Sometimes I can do Time line by myself but I tend to space out and drift off unless someone is there keeping me on track.

Depending upon the issue, when I can’t get enough leverage on my “stuff” by myself, I call Joann Dunsing or Joe Schroder or Kathy McAfee or Kim Kasperian.

Remember that Tiger Woods has a coach and Michael Jordan had a coach. One of my greatest and most humbling lessons is that sometimes it saves a lot of time and money to get with someone who can get you the results you can’t always get on your own.

I have even just handed the Time Line Therapy™ script to someone who knew nothing about it and just had them read the damn thing. It worked like a charm because it kept me on task. The script doesn’t do the clearing, we do. So as you learn various techniques approach using them on your own issues or “stuff” with an attitude of wanton curiosity and playfulness.

I hope that answered the question and was helpful for those of you who are working to “Defeat The Dark Side In Your Personal And Professional Life. Master Your Mind For A Change with NLP!” )

Why does it work out better than you can possibly imagine?

-Mark Shepard, NLPT
Certified Master Practitioner and Trainer of NLP, Hypnosis & Time Line Therapy™

p.s. Any questions or comments? Leave them below. Please pass this post along on Twitter, or Facebook or StumbleUpon etc.

NLP Success – A little taste of the material from Lesson 2 of the Modern Jedi NLP On-Line/Hands-On Training:

One of the contributions of NLP to the world of communication excellence is the process I call “Magical Rapport”.

You know that feeling you get when you “click” with another person or you just met them but you feel like you’ve known them forever? That’s rapport. We all do it all the time unconsciously when we are connecting with another person. The most typical way we approach it is to talk and find things in common. “so, where are you from?” “How many children do you have” etc.  But the founders of NLP discovered that we do tons of other things that we don’t have the foggiest notion we’re doing, like matching and mirroring physiology and tonality (among other secret stuff)…

So NLP didn’t invent rapport, it just brought the unconscious process up into conscious awareness so that we could do it more often and with greater effectiveness.  It would take me hours to share all the stories of how I’ve been able to build deep and lasting business and personal friendships rapidly. Suffice it to say that people like to do business with people they like.

We cover rapid rapport building  fully in the Modern Jedi NLP On-Line/Hands-On Training. If you’re business or relationships could use a boost you might want to join us (there’s still time)

One of my NLP students who is a law enforcement professional asked a really good question and I wanted to answer it here on my blog so that all my students as well as those of you who are passionate about NLP could have a chance to hear my answer as well as to make a comment or share an experience you might have had with Rapport building.

Question:

I had a question regarding rapport.  When someone is displaying negative emotions such as defensive, angry or some other type of negative behavior, would mirroring or matching be counterproductive because of how the other person may interpret their behavior being matched or mirrored?

My concern was that because so much of communication is non-verbal this may only inflame an already negative situation. Or would mirroring and matching help to “sync” in with that person and once rapport is established you are now able to more effectively move the person away from those negative behaviors.  I could see both being applicable but on a case by case situation.  I would like to get your take on this as well as if it is a case by case situation what would be examples of when each would be appropriate.

Also are there more subtle rapport techniques within mirroring/matching that could be used such as only eye blinks or other less noticeable techniques like cross matching, etc…

- Mike L.

Answer:

When someone is angry or depressed we want to connect with them in a way that will enable them to feel heard and understood without getting pulled into their state. If you use the typical rapport skills of matching and mirroring words, tonality, and physiology with an angry person you will almost be guaranteed to get angry.

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However there is nothing more infuriating to an angry person than dealing with someone who remains totally calm in the face of his/her anger. What we found in NLP was that if you mirror back the angry person’s tonality but say concilatory words, you will be able to connect enough so that the person can begin to hear you. Then once you’ve estabilished rapport, you can begin to gradually change your tonality and lead them into a calmer state.

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With someone who is depressed you could also match their typically softer quieter tonality while beginning to use words of more positive and hopeful outlook.

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Once we establish rapport we can test it to make sure we maintain it. Whenever we encounter resistance we need to go back and develop more rapport.

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We can also use a technique called Crossover matching and mirroring, using one body part like a finger, to match the upset person’s eye blinks or foot tapping.

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Are You A Victim or Are You A Volunteer?

This video by Robert Smith does an absolutely fabulous job of explaining how we create our pain and problems as well as how we explain our screwed-up-ness to ourselves and how we maintain it.

Please watch this carefully and take notes. Let me know your thoughts. – Mark