Posts Tagged ‘People’
7 Ways of Dealing With Negative People
I got a very thoughtful comment from one of my readers in response to my Brainwashing vs. Influence article that warranted a full post in reply.
) Life is too short to allow other people to drag you down to their level.NLP Persuasion Power
My 81 Year Old Dad is So Damn FRUSTRATED!
Have you ever shared an idea with someone who totally “got” what you were saying right away? I don’t know if you can remember a time, a specific time when you learned something new and just couldn’t wait to run and tell your best friend about it. Maybe you saw a great movie or TV show and just had to bring someone else into the experience. Chances are there was no hesitation on your part. You learned something or discovered something, got excited and shared it.
Then perhaps you shared it with someone else and they just weren’t impressed. They didn’t “get” it. Or worse like Little Miss Crankypants (yes that is a reference to a song I wrote recently) they metaphorically popped your balloon.
Or, could you kind of tell they were just humoring you and hoping you’d talk about something else?
All of a sudden your wonderful, shiny new discovery started to get a bit tarnished.
What if you had the ability to keep your passion and excitement and communicate it to other people in a way that you the results you wanted?
How do you learn to influence other people so easily, positively and effortlessly it seems like magic?
Whether you’re inviting people to a party or asking someone out on a date or selling your products or services or convincing your teenager to stay away from drugs and alcohol, the ability to influence and persuade are just about the most crucial skills anyone can have. Don’t you agree?
Some people just seem to come by it naturally. For the rest of us, it takes conscious, persistent effort to learn and integrate the many beliefs, behaviors, skills, and mind sets that enable us to become masters of our communication.
Now, you could take my Modern Jedi NLP Training now available in a convenient, affordable On-Line/Hands-On format.
or you could check out this 7 day persuasion program I recently discovered by AJ Kumar.
AJ Kumar’s 7 day Persuasion course
Or you don’t have to change what you’ve been doing…if it’s working for you and you’re getting everything you want out of life why change now?
You know the truth though. What you’ve been doing ain’t working that well is it? Frustration is a great motivating force! So Get EXCITED!
Why my Dad is so FRUSTRATED
I was talking to my dad the other day. He’s 81 years old and healthy as a horse. He swims a half a mile 3 times a week. He looks like he’s 60. He has a trim muscular body with no flab at all. He’s sharp and alert. He just did the swimming leg of a Tri-athelon. For the last 30 years he has passionately and thoroughly studied everything there is to know about health, nutrition, natural healing etc.
He has vast amounts of knowledge about health and nutrition but little experience in getting other people to STOP and:
a. Listen to him
b. Value his expertise
c. Take his advice
d. Make the changes that in some cases could save their lives!
He’s so FRUSTRATED.
Can you relate? He wants so much to help people and to guide people to a place where they can feel good physically. He walks his talk. But he wants to be more than just a “good example”. He wants to actively influence other people in a positive way.
Now a lot of 81 year olds would say, “oh well. Too soon oldt, too late Scmartt”. Not my dad! In fact, I would be willing to bet that after he reads this blog post, he’ll sign right up for my NLP Training so he can learn how to actually get his message out to people who most need and want to improve their health and well being. And you know I’ll help him and by helping him I will indirectly help people I wouldn’t otherwise have any hope of influencing. That’s why I get so excited about this stuff that I have to share it with YOU!
Or maybe he’ll order AJ Kumar’s 7 day Persusuasion course
After all AT AGE 81 he has a lifetime of knowledge to share and he only has another 30 years to get it out! )
Please leave a comment below to let me know your thoughts about persuasion.
-Mark
p.s. What would you think about some guest blog posts from my dad the “Modern Jedi Health and Nutrition Specialist”? Let me know.
Alive With Clive
Mark Shepard, Clive Swersky, Laurie Hathorn, Dave Jenks hit it off fabulously when we met on the Alive With Clive show
Had an awesome, magical experience the other day. I got a call on Thursday from Clive Swersky who has a TV show in White Plains NY called “Alive With Clive: People turning Passion into Profit”
A scheduled guest had canceled at the last minute and he needed someone to interview on Friday afternoon. Was I free? Heck yeah!
Modern Jedi rule #1: Always say yes to any opportunity to be on TV, Radio or interviewed in print.
I was excited to have 30 minutes to tell my story and share my Modern Jedi theme song.
Ultimately the most exciting part of the show was getting to know Clive a bit more. He has an incredibly fascinating story that I hope to actually share with you in the very near future…
Here’s the link to the Alive With Clive TV Show website
Clive was taping two segments on Friday, mine as well as one with Laurie Hathorn and Dave Jenks who are creating conferences and programs for entrepreneurs. Dave is a bestselling author in the real estate field and Laurie has had an entrepreneurial passion and a series of major business accomplishments since childhood.
Check out their work: www.FreeEnterpriseWarriors.com
After the taping we had the opportunity to go out to eat together and it was just one of those magical moments when conversation just sparked and flowed!
I’ll let you know when the episodes will air. I’ve ordered a copy of the show on DVD and hopefully I’ll be able to upload some or all of it to the web so you can check it out wherever you are.
The Modern Jedi Lesson? Say “yes” to opportunities out of the blue. You never know where it will lead, who you will meet, who will influence you, encourage you or inspire you!
- Mark
p.s. because of the serendipitous chance to be on clive’s show I extended the Modern Jedi NLP Training reigstration deadline until Tuesday, May 5th at 3:00 pm Eastern time. Laurie and Dave might even be joining the course! Register for the NLP Course now!
NLP Motivation Strategies – Part 2
An old story: there was a frog that was put in a big cauldron. Because the cauldren was large, the frog felt perfectly comfortable. So even though it could have jumped out at any time, it stayed put. As the pot gradually heated up over the fire…the frog did nothing. The water was warming gradually. By the time the water was so hot that the frog was boiled…he was well, boiled. If the water had been heated suddenly the frog would have had the good sense to jump out.
Ever feel like that frog?
Yesterday we explored the idea of what a “motivation strategy” is. It’s an unconscious process or “program” that enables us to move from a state of “not motivated” to “motivated.” For some people and in some situations it may be a challenge to get out of a “procrastination strategy” and get moving towards taking action.
Whether your strategy is working or not may determine how stuck you get in procrastination as well as how long it may take you to break out of it and get started on cleaning the garage or doing that term paper.
By the way, we don’t need to be motivated to do stuff we enjoy. We usually need an effective strategy to get to the stuff we do not enjoy doing.
So how do you usually break out of a stuck state? Do you move away from the bad things that will happen if you don’t finally buckle down and get to work or do you move towards how good it will feel when you accomplish your task? Or do you do some combination of both?
If you “move away from” how bad does it have to be before you get moving?
If you “move towards” how do you do that?
In other words, do you need the carrot or the stick? And how much of either one do you need to get stuff done?
In working with other people either in leadership roles as managers and team members or as parents and teachers, it helps to know how someone is wired if we want to influence or inspire them to action. Do you need to communicate the cost or the pain of not taking action? Do you need to threaten them with being fired or other dire consequences? Or do they respond much better to the promise of a bonus or a big commission check?
If you use a stick on someone who is motivated by the carrot you risk totally losing them. If you use a carrot on someone who requires a bit of stick to get going it just won’t do the job.
In dealing with ourselves, particularly in our careers, becoming aware of this leverage point can make the difference between success and failure.
- To learn more about NLP strategies and how to elicit and change them in yourself and others check out my NLP Practitioner Certification Training
- To get all pumped up and motivated Watch my Motivation Music Video
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Why are bad attitudes so contagious?
The simplest answer is: Thoughts have an energetic frequency. Like sound vibrations, they broadcast outward and affect other fields. Like a contagious rhythm your energy field will begin to pick up the vibration and start to entrain to it. In a drumming circle if someone is really off the rhythm it will pull everyone else off. UNLESS. The main group of drummers listen to each other and not to the out of rhythm one. In this case the more powerful and plentiful rhythm will overwhelm and drown out the “negative” one.
If there is a group of twenty really bad drummers and one really good drummer he will be taken down to their frequency. He may have to stop and take his drum and get out of there.
If you are around negative people and can’t get away from them (i.e. you share the same office, etc.), what can you do?
Other than staying away from negative people there are a few things you can do to protect yourself from the viral power of negative thoughts spewing from the world around you. Most of them use the power you have to manage your own thoughts: