Modern Jedi NLP Mind Mastery

Posts Tagged ‘Nlp Success’

I recently read an article on E-Harmony Advice about how to get over an ex lover: Making Room for Love – Is a previous relationship preventing you from finding new love? Learn how to stop letting that ex block you from moving forward with these seven tips.

7 very nice thoughts. But typical of what the dating and relationship industry does. They tell you 7 nice things you “should” do that if you really did do them would definitely help you. BUT…

In the midst of an emotional storm these “sensible” and “logical” bits of advice basically get lost.

So I thought I’d weigh in with a few NLP tools for getting over an ex. Trust me on this. These work and I’ve had to use them…a lot (damn, I’m not quite sure I like how that sounds).

Anyway here they are and feel free to apply them to anyone who you need to “get over”, could be an ex boss, or even the old “Critical Parent” a lot of us walk around reacting to.

NLP “How To Get Over Your Ex” Tool #1:
When you think of your “Ex” do you have a picture on your internal mental screen? Where is it? Typically it’s in the center, close, in color and bright. Just notice though where it is for you.

Solution: Now. Shrink it down and push it farther away at the same time you make it dim. Now how do you feel? If you’ve actually done this, the intensity should have gone down in a pleasant way. Repeat as necessary until when you think of your Ex, there’s no “charge” or their picture stays small and dim and far away.

NLP “How To Get Over Your Ex” Tool #2:
When you think of your “Ex” do you keep seeing the movies of all the good times you had together? The wonderful first attraction and hot sex you used to have?

Solution: Drop those old internal “home movies” of all the good times to the lower left hand corner of your internal screen, shrink ‘em down and make them disappear. Blip! Now pull up the reel of all the selfish, annoying, frustrating, unnacceptable things you experienced that caused you two to be “Ex’s” in the first place and put them on an endless loop right in front of you, close, and bright. Guaranteed you’ll stop thinking of all the “wonderful” times.

NLP “How To Get Over Your Ex” Tool #3:
one of the problems with getting over an ex is the false belief that you’ll never find anyone better. We can get vulnerable to our ex’s good qualities (and they do have them) when we get lonely or run pictures on our mental screen of being alone. So other than actively getting out and meeting lots of new people which is a different subject altogether, in addition to dimishing the pictures of the ex and running movies of the bad times to remind you why you’re not together anymore…

Solution: You need to pull up a vision of what you want on to your internal movie screen. Is there a whole line of eager suitors waiting for the chance to get to know you? Are you happily persuing your own passions and interests and having fun in your life regardless of a significant other? Well that’s what you need to be doing now. See yourself in the picture doing all the things you would be doing if you were the kind of person who would attract the kind of person you most want to attract.

Really. Create a movie in your mind of exactly the kind of person and relationship you really and truly want to have. You may need to make a list here. Every time you find yourself saying “I don’t want….” turn it around into what you do want. Take all the positive qualities you want in a partner and make a movie of that. Bring it in close and make it big and bright.

How does that feel?

The next step is to figure out where to find people with those qualities and to develop the skills of rapport building and modern Jedi NLP persuasion power so you can fish where the fish are and invite them into the boat with just what bait they find delicious (you). This is where I shamelessly plug my Modern Jedi NLP Training where you can learn a lot more of this stuff.

So practice these three NLP “Getting Over Your Ex” tools and leave a comment below to let me know how you’re doing with them.

I also do one on one coaching over the phone and can typically help you with this kind of challenge a lot faster than you may think possible.

I got a very thoughtful comment from one of my readers in response to my Brainwashing vs. Influence article that warranted a full post in reply.

Third: If all else fails? Get the hell away from them! ) Life is too short to allow other people to drag you down to their level.

My 81 Year Old Dad is So Damn FRUSTRATED!

Have you ever shared an idea with someone who totally “got” what you were saying right away? I don’t know if you can remember a time, a specific time when you learned something new and just couldn’t wait to run and tell your best friend about it. Maybe you saw a great movie or TV show and just had to bring someone else into the experience. Chances are there was no hesitation on your part. You learned something or discovered something, got excited and shared it.

Then perhaps you shared it with someone else and they just weren’t impressed. They didn’t “get” it. Or worse like Little Miss Crankypants (yes that is a reference to a song I wrote recently) they metaphorically popped your balloon.

Or, could you kind of tell they were just humoring you and hoping you’d talk about something else?

All of a sudden your wonderful, shiny new discovery started to get a bit tarnished.

What if you had the ability to keep your passion and excitement and communicate it to other people in a way that you the results you wanted?

How do you learn to influence other people so easily, positively and effortlessly it seems like magic?

Whether you’re inviting people to a party or asking someone out on a date or selling your products or services or convincing your teenager to stay away from drugs and alcohol, the ability to influence and persuade are just about the most crucial skills anyone can have. Don’t you agree?

Some people just seem to come by it naturally. For the rest of us, it takes conscious, persistent effort to learn and integrate the many beliefs, behaviors, skills, and mind sets that enable us to become masters of our communication.

Now, you could take my Modern Jedi NLP Training now available in a convenient,  affordable On-Line/Hands-On format.

or you could check out this 7 day persuasion program I recently discovered by AJ Kumar.
AJ Kumar’s 7 day Persuasion course

Or you don’t have to change what you’ve been doing…if it’s working for you and you’re getting everything you want out of life why change now?

You know the truth though. What you’ve been doing ain’t working that well is it? Frustration is a great motivating force! So Get EXCITED!

Why my Dad is so FRUSTRATED

I was talking to my dad the other day. He’s 81 years old and healthy as a horse. He swims a half a mile 3 times a week. He looks like he’s 60. He has a trim muscular body with no flab at all. He’s sharp and alert. He just did the swimming leg of a Tri-athelon. For the last 30 years he has passionately and thoroughly studied everything there is to know about health, nutrition, natural healing etc.

He has vast amounts of knowledge about health and nutrition but little experience in getting other people to STOP and:

a.  Listen to him

b. Value his expertise

c. Take his advice

d. Make the changes that in some cases could save their lives!

He’s so FRUSTRATED.

Can you relate? He wants so much to help people and to guide people to a place where they can feel good physically. He walks his talk. But he wants to be more than just a “good example”. He wants to actively influence other people in a positive way.

Now a lot of 81 year olds would say, “oh well. Too soon oldt, too late Scmartt”. Not my dad! In fact, I would be willing to bet that after he reads this blog post, he’ll sign right up for my NLP Training so he can learn how to actually get his message out to people who most need and want to improve their health and well being. And you know I’ll help him and by helping him I will indirectly help people I wouldn’t otherwise have any hope of influencing. That’s why I get so excited about this stuff that I have to share it with YOU!

Or maybe he’ll order  AJ Kumar’s 7 day Persusuasion course

After all AT AGE 81 he has a lifetime of knowledge to share and he only has another 30 years to get it out! )

Please leave a comment below to let me know your thoughts about persuasion.

-Mark

p.s. What would you think about some guest blog posts from my dad the “Modern Jedi Health and Nutrition Specialist”? Let me know.

It’s like alphabet soup out here in the land of Transformational Techniques.

Let’s see….NLP, EFT, EMDR, CHT, PDQ, LMNOP….Sheesh!

Well here’s the scoop: EFT stands for Emotional Freedom Technique. It is weird. And it WORKS! In my humble opinion EFT is one of my best NLP tools and you can’t really think about NLP success without having EFT in your transformation tool kit.

Check out the Video to learn more

or

click here to Get Your Free EFT Starter Kit

Just got this question from one of my NLP students and clients. I’m sharing it with his permission.

Hi mark I am wondering before you do swish patterns and other NLP techniques, don’t we really have to clear our fears with the Timeline Therapy Techniques™?

When we worked together 1:1 and I was able to allow joy to come in my life for the first time, it was a good start but my other issues about living life and business issues are still coming up.

When a fear comes up should I do Timeline on myself with the issue to get it clear first?  In other words what is the checklist to follow for tools to use when a fear arises that is holding me back?  I feel at this point I  should be able to use the tools I am learning in your course and what I picked up at our breakthrough session .

I really understand that we are the only ones that can cure ourselves.  Thanks so much.

-Name Witheld

Here’s my response:

An important Key to NLP Success: As long as we’re alive stuff will come up. It’s like your Unconscious Mind  “gets” that it can release stuff now and so it keeps offering up new “layers” to be addressed. I also want to remind us all that when we do make a major shift to not discount it or negate it just because there is still more work to do. There will always be more to shift. That why it’s so cool to have a wide choice of NLP tools to choose from.

I find that when I clear something with timeline it typically stays cleared if I have gotten the root cause event. Sometimes, I’ve had to go back and clear a slightly different limiting decision that seemed to have the same root cause.

I prefer to do time line therapy techniques ® to clear the limiting decision and chain of negative emotions first. Then I’ll use the swish pattern to “program” the new response I want into my neurology. If you do a Swish pattern enough times it’s cool because the old negative “knee-jerk” trigger will now bring up the desired state or picture.

It’s hard to give a “check-list” of first do a. then b. then c. I tend to follow my intuition with what to do when.

What I love about NLP, Hypnosis, Time Line and EFT is that I can do a lot of things on my own to clear stuff that comes up at the moment it gets in my face. That’s one reason I truly believe in teaching my clients how to take charge of their own change rather than see me as the “curer” or “healer”.  That said, sometimes though we just can’t get enough leverage on our selves to shift something.  At those moments it can save a lot of time and angst to get help from a trained practitioner of NLP.

In those cases, I find it a lot easier to have someone else do it with me. That’s yet another benefit of the NLP Training because you not only learn how to do the NLP techniques on your own for yourself and for other people, but you actually get to take turns with the other students in being the “client” in our 4 day bootcamp. So you can clear a lot of your own stuff in the process of learning NLP. You also make friends with other people who “get” you and who are interested in clearing their own issues and blocks. So it makes a lot of sense to come to the training and then do trades afterward with the students you meet.

If I’m in a moment of  “challenge” and I just need to shift something immediately, I  use EFT.  I tap and speak the “set up phrase” LOUDLY! It seems the more emotion I have towards clearing something the more powerful EFT tapping is. If you’d like to learn more about EFT click here:  Get a free EFT Starter package

Here’s an example:

“Even though I thought I’d cleared this @#^&*$%!@$*%$!@# problem, I deeply and completely accept myself!”
I do a couple rounds unashamedly focusing on the problem and wallowing loudly in the whiny victim mode as much as I want while tapping the EFT acupressure points. I have so much fun with this that often that’s enough to snap me out of my funk!

Then I start feeding in positive how and why questions like:
“Even though I haven’t yet found and released the root cause event of this challenge, why do I deeply and completely accept myself?”

Finally I just tap on

“Why do I deeply and completely accept myself and why does it work out better than I can possibly imagine?”
“Why do I love myself? Why do I attract all the resources and assistance I need to clear this once and for all?”
Why do I resolve this in a way that’s even better than I can possibly imagine?”
etc.
Usually EFT clears  pretty much everything from headaches to limiting beliefs.

If it doesn’t do the job for a particular issue I will next use swish patterns and other NLP submodalities techniques to get relief.

If I’m still not shifting the issue, then I will call one of my students/colleagues and get them to do Time Line Therapy with me. Sometimes I can do Time line by myself but I tend to space out and drift off unless someone is there keeping me on track.

Depending upon the issue, when I can’t get enough leverage on my “stuff” by myself, I call Joann Dunsing or Joe Schroder or Kathy McAfee or Kim Kasperian.

Remember that Tiger Woods has a coach and Michael Jordan had a coach. One of my greatest and most humbling lessons is that sometimes it saves a lot of time and money to get with someone who can get you the results you can’t always get on your own.

I have even just handed the Time Line Therapy™ script to someone who knew nothing about it and just had them read the damn thing. It worked like a charm because it kept me on task. The script doesn’t do the clearing, we do. So as you learn various techniques approach using them on your own issues or “stuff” with an attitude of wanton curiosity and playfulness.

I hope that answered the question and was helpful for those of you who are working to “Defeat The Dark Side In Your Personal And Professional Life. Master Your Mind For A Change with NLP!” )

Why does it work out better than you can possibly imagine?

-Mark Shepard, NLPT
Certified Master Practitioner and Trainer of NLP, Hypnosis & Time Line Therapy™

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