Modern Jedi NLP Mind Mastery

Posts Tagged ‘Fears’

What to do when the people you care about express their care for you by giving you advice that is clearly a projection of their fears and doubts…

I don’t know if this happens to you at all or if I’m the only one.

I take risks. I believe that in order to truly live my dream I have to put new ideas and tools into action. Sometimes it works out right away. Other times things take a lot longer than it looked like it was going to take. This is NOT failure. It is feedback.

For example: When I finished my NLP trainers training in the Summer of 2003 I thought that I would be teaching my first NLP practitioner course the following month.

It took me something like 5 years to achieve that goal.

Not because I was sitting around watching TV and wasting my time, but because there seemed to be some higher, wiser plan in effect. In order for me to be a congruent trainer, I had to first get some real life experience working with clients of all kinds. Perfect (in retrospect).

But to the people in my life at the time, my lack of earning power IMMEDIATELY after the big training was proof that I was a fool. NLP was supposed to suddenly enable me to start making big bucks right away. And I have seen people’s incomes skyrocket right after an NLP session or a training.

But for me, for my particular life’s purpose of integrating my music and my personal development work, it wasn’t an instant catapault to fame and riches.

Somehow I managed to make it through those first lean months and began to build a practice.

There was so much I didn’t know about marketing, and business. So much I had to learn “on the job”. Because I was so focused on building my practice, I didn’t do as much to get Music/Storytelling gigs that year… so my income actually went down even though I was feeling like I was on track with implementing my goals.

Working towards living my dreams.

Well, as the old saying goes, “Success is Messy”

In the last year or so as I’ve been putting new ways of doing business into practice, getting the word out on the Web. It’s been a huge learning curve, one that has often required 100% of my attention and energy.

If anyone looked in at certain points along this path it might seem to an outside that I was chasing after some “pie in the sky” dream. I am chasing a dream. But it’s not “pie in the sky”.

My dream is to create steady and increasing income from the many areas I’m interested in and passionate about in a way that contributes positively to the lives of others.

NLP, Sales training, storytelling, music, hypnosis, art, personal development, healing, creativity, education, leadership, motivation, Time Line therapy techniques ™ relationships, transformation and on and on. It’s a multi-dimensional approach that sometimes defies “branding”.

I once had a conversation with a business man who had been very successful as a mortgage broker. At some point he had decided to build a company with other mortgage reps working for him. At first, his income went down because he was no longer writing deals. Eventually as he brought more and more mortgage reps on board and he earned a percentage of each rep’s volume, his income soared.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that in any endeavor that is true and congruent for you, there will be times when your family members or friends will try to give you advice. Unfortunately their advice will come from their model of the world which may be an old framwork for you that you are letting go of.

You must acknowledge their loving intention and appreciate it. However, you must also ignore their advice and continue to move beyond it. Even if it causes a temporary rift in the relationship.

Dreams are fragile at certain stages of their fulfillment. Stay with it. Keep doing what you know is right and true. Turn down the noise and the distractions around you and burn the boats. There is no returning to the way you used to be. Sometimes it takes longer to get to where you want to be. So what?

Every outcome that does not look like success is an opportunity to put another piece of the puzzle into place. Eventually it will come together.

Am I saying ignore solid, advice from people who truly know what they’re talking about in fields that are similar or related to what you are trying to accomplish? No. Other entrepreneurs or other people in your field who have done what you are attempting to do, have earned the right to give you guidance. I am only talking about people who have been employees all their life giving an entrepreneur advice about how to run his business.

Just like I know very little about ice skating and would never dream to give an ice skater advice about how to do a leap or a spin, people who trade hours for dollars or who are not able to tolerate the uncertainty of being in business (or sales) haven’t earned the right to give advice in this area. Are they bad people. No! Their intention is one of love and care and concern. It can still wreak havoc with your self confidence if you are going through some tough challenges.

What you do freaks them out and scares the hell out of them. That’s why they are chained to a steady paycheck. Sometimes in the entrepreneurial or artistic journey there are times when the cash flow just isn’t there. Those are moments of your greatest opportunity.

Worrying about someone based upon the false belief that imagining the worst and trying to protect your loved ones from their mistakes is the worst kind of projection.

For 40 years I’ve been pursuing a dream of using my music to positively impact the world. That journey has led me in a lot of different directions, first working on my self and my internal blocks and next learning how to reach out to other people in ways that may be non-traditional. The learning curve has been steep and at times breathtakingly difficult. Every step of the way, no matter how challenging, has been perfect and exactly what I was ready to tackle next.

• 75,000 people have watched my “How To Stop Anxiety” video series on YouTube.

• More than 25,000 people all over the globe have watched the video of my song “Together We Can Change The World” sung by Rilee O’Neill..

• The songs I wrote for Letters To Daddy have been enjoyed by several hundred audience members as the play was performed this past Spring by two different theater companies.

• 5,000 people follow me on twitter. http://www.twitter.com/markshepard

• Several dozen people have enrolled in the Modern Jedi NLP Practitioner Trainings I’ve taught

• Over 6,000 people have seen my Motivation Song on YouTube (see it at the end of this post).

Step by step. Goal by goal. Putting my plan into action.

Have those accomplishments resulted in a steady stream of income? Not yet. Have they touched lives in a postive way? Yes.

Am I on track? Yes. Am I as much a household name as Tony Robbins? Net yet. Do I always know how I’m going to pay this month’s bills? Nope.

Necessity is the mother of invention. Our backs are to the sea, the boats have been burned. There is nowhere to go but forward into the unknown.

So dare to dream folks. Dare to take action to fulfill your dream. Dare to find mentors to model yourself after. Dare to lovingly ignore the advice of parents, relatives, friends or anyone else who doesn’t “get” what you are all about.

Dare to believe in yourself even when outside events seem to conspire to get you to doubt.

Feed the Faith. Starve the Doubt. You gotta have some trust that it all works out…(better than you can possibly imagine)

Just in case you need a little motivation…

Please leave a comment below or share this with someone who many need your support today!

- Mark

Just got this question from one of my NLP students and clients. I’m sharing it with his permission.

Hi mark I am wondering before you do swish patterns and other NLP techniques, don’t we really have to clear our fears with the Timeline Therapy Techniques™?

When we worked together 1:1 and I was able to allow joy to come in my life for the first time, it was a good start but my other issues about living life and business issues are still coming up.

When a fear comes up should I do Timeline on myself with the issue to get it clear first?  In other words what is the checklist to follow for tools to use when a fear arises that is holding me back?  I feel at this point I  should be able to use the tools I am learning in your course and what I picked up at our breakthrough session .

I really understand that we are the only ones that can cure ourselves.  Thanks so much.

-Name Witheld

Here’s my response:

An important Key to NLP Success: As long as we’re alive stuff will come up. It’s like your Unconscious Mind  “gets” that it can release stuff now and so it keeps offering up new “layers” to be addressed. I also want to remind us all that when we do make a major shift to not discount it or negate it just because there is still more work to do. There will always be more to shift. That why it’s so cool to have a wide choice of NLP tools to choose from.

I find that when I clear something with timeline it typically stays cleared if I have gotten the root cause event. Sometimes, I’ve had to go back and clear a slightly different limiting decision that seemed to have the same root cause.

I prefer to do time line therapy techniques ® to clear the limiting decision and chain of negative emotions first. Then I’ll use the swish pattern to “program” the new response I want into my neurology. If you do a Swish pattern enough times it’s cool because the old negative “knee-jerk” trigger will now bring up the desired state or picture.

It’s hard to give a “check-list” of first do a. then b. then c. I tend to follow my intuition with what to do when.

What I love about NLP, Hypnosis, Time Line and EFT is that I can do a lot of things on my own to clear stuff that comes up at the moment it gets in my face. That’s one reason I truly believe in teaching my clients how to take charge of their own change rather than see me as the “curer” or “healer”.  That said, sometimes though we just can’t get enough leverage on our selves to shift something.  At those moments it can save a lot of time and angst to get help from a trained practitioner of NLP.

In those cases, I find it a lot easier to have someone else do it with me. That’s yet another benefit of the NLP Training because you not only learn how to do the NLP techniques on your own for yourself and for other people, but you actually get to take turns with the other students in being the “client” in our 4 day bootcamp. So you can clear a lot of your own stuff in the process of learning NLP. You also make friends with other people who “get” you and who are interested in clearing their own issues and blocks. So it makes a lot of sense to come to the training and then do trades afterward with the students you meet.

If I’m in a moment of  “challenge” and I just need to shift something immediately, I  use EFT.  I tap and speak the “set up phrase” LOUDLY! It seems the more emotion I have towards clearing something the more powerful EFT tapping is. If you’d like to learn more about EFT click here:  Get a free EFT Starter package

Here’s an example:

“Even though I thought I’d cleared this @#^&*$%!@$*%$!@# problem, I deeply and completely accept myself!”
I do a couple rounds unashamedly focusing on the problem and wallowing loudly in the whiny victim mode as much as I want while tapping the EFT acupressure points. I have so much fun with this that often that’s enough to snap me out of my funk!

Then I start feeding in positive how and why questions like:
“Even though I haven’t yet found and released the root cause event of this challenge, why do I deeply and completely accept myself?”

Finally I just tap on

“Why do I deeply and completely accept myself and why does it work out better than I can possibly imagine?”
“Why do I love myself? Why do I attract all the resources and assistance I need to clear this once and for all?”
Why do I resolve this in a way that’s even better than I can possibly imagine?”
etc.
Usually EFT clears  pretty much everything from headaches to limiting beliefs.

If it doesn’t do the job for a particular issue I will next use swish patterns and other NLP submodalities techniques to get relief.

If I’m still not shifting the issue, then I will call one of my students/colleagues and get them to do Time Line Therapy with me. Sometimes I can do Time line by myself but I tend to space out and drift off unless someone is there keeping me on track.

Depending upon the issue, when I can’t get enough leverage on my “stuff” by myself, I call Joann Dunsing or Joe Schroder or Kathy McAfee or Kim Kasperian.

Remember that Tiger Woods has a coach and Michael Jordan had a coach. One of my greatest and most humbling lessons is that sometimes it saves a lot of time and money to get with someone who can get you the results you can’t always get on your own.

I have even just handed the Time Line Therapy™ script to someone who knew nothing about it and just had them read the damn thing. It worked like a charm because it kept me on task. The script doesn’t do the clearing, we do. So as you learn various techniques approach using them on your own issues or “stuff” with an attitude of wanton curiosity and playfulness.

I hope that answered the question and was helpful for those of you who are working to “Defeat The Dark Side In Your Personal And Professional Life. Master Your Mind For A Change with NLP!” )

Why does it work out better than you can possibly imagine?

-Mark Shepard, NLPT
Certified Master Practitioner and Trainer of NLP, Hypnosis & Time Line Therapy™

p.s. Any questions or comments? Leave them below. Please pass this post along on Twitter, or Facebook or StumbleUpon etc.

This Week the economic meltdown is all around us. The Stock market is at 1980’s lows. Companies world wide are falling like bowling pins. Millions of people are out of work or facing imminent layoffs. The news is full of grim experts like “Dr. Doom” predicting the end of the world as we know it. As I checked my yahoo e-mail this morning I was greeted with this headline:

Even ‘Dr. Doom’ Is Scared: Economy Much Worse Than Roubini Predicted

Don’t follow the link above! I only put it in here to improve my search engine ranking. )

So a few thoughts and some options that I am using myself to stay hopeful and positive

1. STOP LISTENING TO THE NEWS! or at least use a grim news story to improve your search engine rankings like I did above. After all that’s what the news folks are using to make their businesses prosper. Think about it! What businesses do you know are still doing really well? Who benefits if you are freaked out? The more eyeballs the News media can get the more advertising they can sell. So I’ll say it again. STOP WATCHING AND LISTENING TO THE NEWS! BTW do you know what city is booming and growing in these hard times? Washington DC! Talk about thriving in a crisis!
2. Listen to positive, hopeful stories and music. I posted a special, hopeful song for you this week at www.MarkShepardSongs.com called Rose Colored Glasses. Download it FREE to your mp3 player or burn it to a CD and play it all day. Burn it into your Rostromedial Pre-Frontal Cortex. While you’re there check out some of the other tunes I’m giving away free for your spiritual refreshment. I’ve also posted a hilarious “Trickster Tale” called “Monkey & Leopard” at www.DrumSongStory.com
3. Make a list of the miracles in your life and all the abundance you have right now. I’ve said this before but it bears repeating. You did not have to mine your own salt eh? You have people who do that for you! If you are reading this that means you have a computer and access to the world wide web! You are RICH. Focus on right now. At this very moment do you have clothes? Do you have running water? Do you have enough food for today? Do you have heat? Got shoes? Socks? It sounds simple but it’s all about shifting your focus from one of lack to one of abundance. Speaking of the internet, there are huge opportunities for people who understand the new Web 2.0 social media and how to connect to prospects and customers on line. BTW if you are interested in learning what I’ve spent the last year absorbing and implementing in order to get the word out about my various projects, let me know. To date I’ve had over 50,000 views of my stop anxiety series as well as thousands of visits from 53 countries to my music site. I’m thinking about offering an affordable weekly coaching club for small business peeps so you can avoid all the dead ends and time wasters I had to work through. Web marketing costs almost nothing and can take your business or career to the next level despite the gloom and doom boys dire forecasts. Interested? E-mail me at mark [at] markshepard.com or call me at 203-495-8808
4. Say this to your self and write it out by hand 100 times (yes 100 times): “Why Does It Work Out Better Than I Can Possibly Imagine?” This will begin to re-program your unconscious mind to filter for good news rather than bad. Go ahead. I dare you. No. I double dare you. No. I double dog dare you! This is one of my own most used anti-anxiety practices
5. Go to www.ClearFear.com and watch the How To Stop Anxiety in 10 Minutes or Less Video. It’s Free and it works: 50,000 people have already viewed it . The whole thing takes a little over 10 minutes. What do you have to lose? In addition to the video I have a lot of other info there that might be of help to you.
6. Register for this month’s CRUSH Anxiety Call
   Wednesday, March 11 at Noon Eastern Time 

   or

   Thursday Night, March 12 at 7:00 pm Eastern Time

   For a one time fee of only $97 and get my Crush Anxiety E-book and complete audio set as my gift ($197 value). If you’ve been on one of these calls before you are welcome to come back any time or as many times as you want for free. Lines are limited so register now.

7. If you need serious help ask for it. Either from me or from another NLP practitioner. Sometimes a big part of making significant changes is simply the act of asking for help.Even though most of my focus these days is on my Life In Song Project and my DrumSongStory performances, I am still working with a select few clients one on one over the phone. Many of my clients have learned how to destroy their fears and anxious thinking patterns and gone on to double, triple and even quintuple their incomes (even in these scary times). If you need help I can often get people significant relief in just one or two NLP phone sessions. Some folks need more support. I charge either by the hour or a flat fee. I will also consider barter. So please do not let your current beliefs in “lack” stop you from getting help. E-mail me at mark[at] MarkShepard.com or call my office at (203) 495-8808

So just a few thoughts and resources for you. Please take advantage of whatever feels right for you. Remember:

• We can not change the world but we can change how we respond to the world.
• We can change how we perceive the world.
• We can change how we interact with the world.
• We can use these challenging times as a motivational tool to think outside the box of our old patterns and routines.
• We can use these times as opportunity triggers.
• Are there problems you can help other people solve?
• Are there talents and abilities you’ve always wanted an opportunity to use?
• Now’s the time to start giving yourself permission to explore them.

I love you all and send you my best wishes and hopes for you all day every day!

Mark

For many of us out here on the front lines of entrepreneurship, there is one constant that either makes us or breaks us…

And that’s US!

As cartoon strip character Pogo said many years ago “We have met the enemy and he is us!”

Ultimately, wherever we are is the result of our thoughts, beliefs, values, decisions, and actions (BTW “inaction” is actually the action of not doing anything).

Since NLP provides us with easy to use maps for recognizing and changing our own blocks, patterns, behaviors, fears etc. it makes a great tool for business people. What I love about folks in business is that they “get” that if something is costing them, they have to change it.

My business clients “get” that if they spend $100 dollars to clear something that’s holding them back and hurting their company or their success and they make an additional $100 dollars, then it wasn’t a “cost” it was an investment that just paid for itself. If that $100 investment brings a return of $200 or $1,000 then it is a “no-brainer”.

Typically, I find that when people clear the block that has held them back they go on to exponentially increase their income and their effectiveness as leaders in their respective fields.

Two examples that come to mind of people who have made revolutionary change in their lives as the result of learning NLP are Michael Guerin and Rob Bronson.

Michael has been kind enough to share his story with my readers on a number of occasions as well as on the phone and in an extensive video interview.

The bottom line for Mike is that before he worked with me he could barely use the phone. He literally had a phone phobia. He also suffered from agoraphobia so basically, he couldn’t get out and meet and greet new clients and he couldn’t call prospects on the phone! Not a recipe for success in business! We did my basic NLP breakthrough process and within hours he was on fire! As he said in his interview with me, “It was really strange because it was like the old pattern was just gone! As if it had never existed in the first place…”

Mike has gone on to increase his Credit Card Merchant Processing business so much that he is now training other associates to work for him. He has also expanded into helping other business owners make sense of online interactive marketing. In this severe economic climate Michael Guerin’s businesses are thriving and growing by leaps and bounds. That’s the power of NLP to help us get out of our own way.

Which brings me to Rob Bronson. Rob is my good friend and technical adviser. This blog format and all the videos I’ve been doing is the direct result of Rob using my own NLP stuff on ME! I had a lot of technological RESISTANCE. which Rob helped me to release!

I first got to know Rob when he took my “Reluctant Sales Person” training a couple of years ago. And immediately started implementing the tools and techniques he’d learned there. As a genius level technical guy, Rob had a little trouble relating to the rest of us non-geek types. Through the NLP sales training he learned how to speak another person’s language and how to communicate the way other people preferred to communicate so that he could maintain rapport and get his message through in a way that could be well received.

Rob learned how to get out of his own world and to enter into the world of his client.

A year ago Rob and Mike and I began to meet every Monday in a “Master Mind”. We would frequently spend the entire day learning about internet marketing and search engine optimization, blogging, copy writing and basic business tools, techniques and philosophy. We also continually put NLP into practice and shared our successes and challenges. We supported each other and acted as sounding boards for each other. Personally it saved my business and my sanity on a number of occasions.

At one point Mike did not even have his own website up. At one point Rob was living in someone’s basement. At several points, I was tangled up in my own “stuff” and they helped “coach” me through the tunnel and out to the sunlight.BTW we all need the help of other people. NLP does not make anyone invincible or perfect.

It was a year of stripping the paint down to the surface and sanding and honing ourselves. and then as the financial storm clouds gathered back in the fall of 2008 something magical happened, Rob and Mike began to form a partnership that was all about helping other people in business save time and money and benefit from what they had learned and put into practice…

Now with their new business Best Web Presence they are so busy I haven’t seen them in weeks. They are signing up clients left and right at a time when there are thousands of “Chicken Littles” running around screeching “The sky is falling! The sky is falling.”

The point of my story is that there is a set of tools and techniques that if used properly will enable you to clear through the clutter of your own thinking and patterns of behavior. Once you clear the personal blocks that are holding you back, fasten your seat belt because things can change rather quickly. At this time last year neither Rob, nor Mike nor I knew how far we would have journeyed from where we began. It truly has “turned out better than they could possibly imagine…”

Does rapid change seem to be pretty scary to a lot of folks? Sure. But that’s a subject for another post…

If you are curious about how NLP can help your business please call me at 203-804-1208 or e-mail me mark [at] markshepard.com. You can also learn more about NLP Certification here

Please share this post with anyone you know who may be struggling with their business or who may be ready to break through the blocks and experience more success.

- Mark Shepard, NLP Trainer, Songwriter, Visual Artist, Author, Speaker…