NLP Practitioner & Trainer » Brainwashing

7 Ways of Dealing With Negative People

Mark Shepard — Mon, 17 Aug 2009 15:05:47 +0000

I got a very thoughtful comment from one of my readers in response to my Brainwashing vs. Influence article that warranted a full post in reply.

“Your article really hit a nerve, since my wife and i were talking about my parents recently. my dad retired 6 years ago, and my mom retired last august. and now they sit around the house, watch way too much fox news, and complain about the world. It’s sad.

We used to get together and have a lot more fun.

Now… it’s different. when they visit I’m always telling them (hey, no news, ok?) so they’ll change the channel.

Being self-employed for more than 5 years has made me nearly fanatical about staying positive, surrounding myself with positive people, and avoiding energy-draining negativity.

Here’s a question for you? Why is it that bad attitudes are so contagious? Any nlp wisdom for that one?

If you are around negative people and can’t get away from them (i.e. you share the same office, etc.), what can you do?

thanks,

Michael Guerin, Merchant Account Processing Specialist

Why are bad attitudes so contagious?

The simplest answer is: Thoughts have an energetic frequency. Like sound vibrations, they broadcast outward and affect other fields. Like a contagious rhythm your energy field will begin to pick up the vibration and start to entrain to it. In a drumming circle if someone is really off the rhythm it will pull everyone else off. UNLESS. The main group of drummers listen to each other and not to the out of rhythm one. In this case the more powerful and plentiful rhythm will overwhelm and drown out the “negative” one.

If there is a group of twenty really bad drummers and one really good drummer he will be taken down to their frequency. He may have to stop and take his drum and get out of there.

If you are around negative people and can’t get away from them (i.e. you share the same office, etc.), what can you do?

Other than staying away from negative people there are a few things you can do to protect yourself from the viral power of negative thoughts spewing from the world around you. Most of them use the power you have to manage your own thoughts:

Imagine a powerful force field around yourself that “Zaps” negative external thoughts like a bug zapper.
Imagine yourself big and huge and powerful like the “Jolly Green Giant” waaaaay up above the little “chirps” of negative voices down below you. It also helps to imagine the negative people to be like whiny little children. You don’t hold it against kids that they can get whiny. But you also don’t tolerate it.
Chant inside your own mind: “Why does it work out better than I can possibly imagine.” also put it in 2nd and 3rd person: “Why does it work out better than you can possibly imagine?” and “Why Does it work out better than they can possibly imagine?”
In some cases you may need to challenge them. I would suggest that instead of confrontation, you use the Modern Jedi NLP techniques of “Positive Negatives”. Here’s an example: “I’m not suggesting that you are really being negative, but it seems to me that someone as intelligent as you are could notice some positive aspects about that situation that might put it into perspective…” This statement “calls” them on their negativity and also compliments and challenges them all at the same time.
Another possible solution is to put your parents to work! If they have nothing better to do than sit around watching TV give them a job. Teach them how to do some of the things that you need help with in the office. Engage them to help with the grand kids. If they feel needed and have something vital to contribute they may make a shift.
For people who you have to share an office with or who are on a team with you, but who you have no managerial responsibility, be very careful. In a meeting where new ideas are being offered, the “devils advocate” types will kill innovation if they are allowed in too soon. However, they can envision what can go wrong with something, so later on they can be an asset in de-bugging an idea or process.
Ultimately, we always have a choice. If you are feeling stuck in a molasses like goo of negativity at work or at home you may have to leave. I know that may sound extreme but it may be necessary to protect yourself or give yourself some time to get stronger.

To sum it all up:

First: You have to manage and take charge of what you can control. Your own mind. Turn up your inner positive volume and use the power of your imagination to turn the negative voices down.

Second: Look for ways and resources that will enable you to either distract the negative people or to use their negativity in a positive way. But again, you have to be in charge of it. Lead them away from negativity and towards positivity. In some cases you might have to lay out the rules.

Third: If all else fails? Get the hell away from them! ) Life is too short to allow other people to drag you down to their level.

Want to learn more? There are plenty more tools and techniques that you can discover when you decide to

“Defeat The Dark Side and Master Your Mind For A Change With NLP.”

Check out the Modern Jedi On-line/Hands-One NLP Training

Brainwashing vs. Influence

Mark Shepard — Thu, 30 Jul 2009 12:06:16 +0000

What’s the difference between being brainwashed and being influenced?

And by the way I’m not suggesting that you totally agree with everything in this post because I’m a nice guy and have your best interests at heart.

It’s just that you know there are times when you find yourself suddenly craving a big Mac or salivating about that new GM muscle car or the new Ford mustang or just absolutely have to have those special tooth whitening strips so you’ll be more attractive…

And moments before you watched the commercial or read the ad, you weren’t even thinking about it.

The question is….are you being brainwashed? Or just influenced?

According to my secret sources in the US Military, for brainwashing to be present all 5 of the following conditions must be met. So ask yourself now

Have you been removed from your normal environment of influence or confined to the “compound” and not allowed to leave no contact with “outside”?
Have you been deprived of sleep getting less than 6 hours per night? (psst are your children brainwashing you?)
Are you given emotional, physical or psychological pain or punishment if you disagree?
Do you get pleasure or rewards if you agree to “get with the program”?
Has your bio-chemistry been forcibly changed through diet or drugs?

Now maybe one or two of these elements are present in your marriage, your job, your sports team, church, chamber of commerce, fraternity or sorority, etc.

But remember, all 5 elements must be present for more than a weekend. After all it may take a bit of time to be internalized into your unconscious mind.

Now. You don’t have to think about army basic training or “bootcamp” unless of course you want to…But if you were to think about it imagine this:

You are far from home and confined to some sweltering, mosquito infested “base”
You are woken up at the crack of dawn every day by scratchy recording of a bugle playing reveille. When you least expect it they wake you up in the middle of the night for “drills”.
If you don’t “get with the program” you are shouted at, made to do extreme physical penance (“GIVE ME 50 PUSH-UPS WORM”) and are subject to other emotional and psychological punishment.
If you get along and follow orders and are a good little soldier you get praise, awards, medals, shore leave, extra dessert etc.
Think about the food in the military! Just eating S.O.S and mountains of potatoes every day will change your bio chemistry.

I don’t know why but all of a sudden I’m thinking about this Christian summer camp I went to with my church youth group for a week the summer between 9th and 10 grade….

Hmmm.

I wasn’t in my normal environment. It was way nicer. A beautiful camp on a pristine lake in the mountains.
They kept us up late singing songs and woke us up really early. Averaged about 5 hours a night.
They didn’t shout or use overt physical pain. But they made use feel guilty as hell about all the impure thoughts we were having about the opposite (or same) sex. And all the sin we were carrying around with us. It felt painful to me. Very painful. So very, very painful. Forgive me Father for I have SINNED.
If you gave your life to Jesus you got applause and that special feeling of “getting with the program.” Plus some of the cutes girls were serious bible thumpers and I wanted “in” with them. ooooo more SIN for which I must feel shame and guilt!
Damn! No drugs or bizarre food. The food was good. For some people it was “better than home” Nobody was made to drink actual cool-aid or eat bugs.

So even though 4 out of 5 is pretty darn close, I managed to survive Christian summer camp with all my skepticism and doubts intact. Never underestimate the power of bad food or at least very different food to tip the brainwashing scales. It’s all in the details.

Now let’s talk about TV.

You are not isolated from your normal environment of influence. When you’re watching the tube you are most definitely in a zombie like trance but you are usually sitting on your own couch.
You’re sleep patterns are not interrupted. In fact many people prefer to fall asleep watching TV. There seem to be few reports of people sleep walking into a Hummer dealership with a bag of cash after falling asleep in front of the telly.
A really good commercial may remind you of the pain you are already in and may anchor pleasure to the idea that you can get out of pain by making a decision and taking action. Think about your hard earned dollars sneaking out your leaky, inefficient old windows… pain.
A master of influence will definitely link pleasure to his or her idea or outcome for you. … now think about how wonderful the snug, tight, energy efficient thermal windows will be as they save you bushels of cash over the next 30 years…
An argument could be made that McDonalds food will change your body chemistry and get you hooked. Or all those pharmaceutical ads for the weight loss drug (with the rectal leakage side effect) could get you hooked and change your bio chemistry. But you’re still in your own home and they have yet to figure out how to get the TV to dispense their stuff. Plus, the other elements of brainwashing must also be present and you can…always….

….turn….off…..the ……TV.

So in a nutshell, TV advertising, is not brainwashing. Ads may be powerful. They may be insidious. They may be persuasive. They get stuck like a sappy love song in your rostromedial pre-frontal cortex and play over and over again. They may be hugely influential. They may be hypnotic, mesmerizing and trance inducing. They may not always be a force for good in our lives.

But you can always hit the off button…so it ain’t brainwashing.

Now I know you didn’t totally agree with everything I’ve said in the past or right now or in the future so if there are other things you agree with me on feel free to leave a comment below or just think of me as a genius for the next few moments….that’s right…I know you’re wondering and it’s a good thing to wonder what NLP language patterns I’ve woven throughout this post that just might influence you to not just think of me as a genius but as someone who’s got your best interests at heart…

I’m not suggesting you leave your comments and questions below!But if you did leave a comment below what would you feel good about saying? Thanx! – Mark