No matter how good you are and how great NLP is, sometimes you just have to say “no” to a potential client because of the “red flags.”
Without having 15 years of experience in practice, how do you avoid the clients that will not only waste your time but literally “infect” you with their victim mentality and cause you to doubt your abilities as a practitioner?
In the video (as well as below the video) I cover a few things to watch out for and avoid. Of course nothing causes us to learn like a situation that literally puts us up against the wall and demands our best resourcefulness and creativity. Just keep in mind that some people seriously aren’t ready to actually make the changes they SAY they want to make. And that is NOT your fault as a practitioner.
So hang in there and keep the faith!
Here’s the email I mention in the video. It is fairly typical of emails I get frequently. I’ve edited it only for readability and to protect the identity of the writer:
Hi I got fear of public restroom which has been slowly killing me for more than 30 years. Doctors label it OCD. I’m currently on medication for anxiety panic. Plus I have low self esteem also host of chronic diseases… but main complaint is low self esteem and inability to use public restrooms. Can you help me?
I don’t have much cash in hand to spare, financially un healthy. But if it works, I will pay you in my life time.
Please note that previously I did energy psychology with Mr. G. EFT, Reiki, Spiritual Healing, TFT, Pranic Healing, Hypnosis, Breathing, Acupressure, Scientology, Energy Psychology, Chinese Energetics, Sound Energy Healing, Mantra & Mindfulness meditation, Robert B., Janet T. also Paul. E. were unsuccessful at helping me.
Also tried Panic Away, Linden Method, SUD level still 10. I’ve experienced no rapid relief.
Can you help me with my limited financial resources?
Plus I’m also diabetic, and have retinopathy in left eye, gallstones, cholesterol, hypertension, chronic epididymitis, ocd, low self esteem, erectile dysfunction, low back and shoulder pain, foot neuropathy, calluses, seborrheic dermatitis, hair loss, prematurely diabetic retinopathy, carpel tunnel syndrome, drastically burning sensation in the feet, leg pain and pins and needle sensation in the foot region, appreciated.
The biggest red flag is all the other practitioners and programs he has tried with no relief. If I worked with this guy it would be just more of the same. And if I worked with him I would be the next one who “failed” him.
The other big red flag is, “But if it works, I will pay you in my life time.”
Right. Sure buddy.
There is something called “The Call Girl Syndrome” which makes it VERY unlikely that after a service is provided, the recipient of the service REMEMBERS how much they wanted it before it was delivered…
Our job as NLP practitioners and Hypnotists is to make sure that we set up our practice as “coaching” because in the coaching relationship the client understands that it is his or her job to implement the suggestions and practice them.
The red flag client is so deeply in the “victim” role that they can not imagine having the power to change their reality. Their victim reality is so real and huge for them that they will try their best to pull you into it.
A life guard has to be very careful of a drowning person because the drowning person will often in their panic, do their best to climb up on the life guard thereby drowning both.
Be very careful of the client “drowning” in trouble.
As you may agree, ultimately this person’s problems are being created and maintained by him. Not consciously of course.
If he or she has gone through many practitioners and modalities and still not “gotten” that single most important clue, then what chance to you or I have to get through that smoke screen?
Mark Shepard, NLPT
Master Practitioner and Trainer of NLP & Hypnosis