Post Traumatic Stress Disorder: NLP Case Study (Introduction)

I recently was contacted by Emily Bernard who was seeking help in healing the trauma and anxiety left over from an old wound. She was seriously injured along with 7 other people in a stabbing at a coffee shop 14 years ago.

She was in critical condition and truthfully could have died but she survived. However from that experience she was understandably haunted by the possibility of at any moment being attacked again. So she experienced a hypervigilence and unease every time she went out in public.

She also experienced a physical problem at the site of the stabbing in her body at 7 year intervals. There was no logical medical explanation for the physical problems occurring at 7 year intervals and at the same time of year. (note from Emily: “The problem was adhesions, my intestines getting tangled up in my scar tissue.  There is no procedure to solve the problem of adhesions (which are very common), no cure.”)

I appreciated that Emily was open to the possibility that the physical recurrence of the adhesions was linked to unresolved emotional material.

Another challenge was that as an exquisitely talented writer Emily was experiencing some challenges with writer’s block.

One of the greatest challenges I have as a practitioner is determining who I will work with. Every one expresses the desire to change but not everyone is willing to “get to cause” and accept “response-ability” for their change. I don’t “cure” people. I teach them how to “master their own minds for a change”. I help them to clear blocks and release old beliefs and patterns. Some people want me to just wave a magic wand and make them all better. Sometimes it seems like that’s what I do. Change can be rapid. But ultimately it’s the client making the change not me.

Emily seemed like she understood that and was willing to roll up her sleeves and do what Byron Katie calls “The Work”.

Another aspect of how I practice NLP and Hypnotherapy is to assign a task that contains in it elements of the transformation the client is seeking.

We agreed to work together and use the blog as an extension of our work. Since Emily is a writer I asked her if she would be willing to share her story through this blog.  I felt it would serve her greater purpose of writing about her experiences in such a way as to facilitate her own healing as well as to serve as a kind of beacon or resource for other people dealing with traumatic events or challenges in their lives.

Ultimately my intention is to support Emily’s healing, and transformation as well as to make the work I do more accessible and understandable so that I can help more people who like myself and Emily struggle, or have struggled, with blocks that keep them from allowing their talents and abilities to shine out.

I know that my clients and the readers who find this site are incredible people who have much to share with the world. I also know that the talented, sensitive, imaginative, creative types who have so much to give to the world often find themselves blocked. It is my belief that this blocking and subsequent healing journey is not unlike the classic “hero’s journey” that fills ancient and contemporary literature.

Stay tuned to the next several posts as Emily and I share the story of working together and clearing old patterns of thought and behavior as well as reinforcing and repatterning the new ways of thinking and being. Be a part of the process as we dig in and check our progress along the way.

In the next post Emily will introduce herself and give her account of her personal breakthrough sessions with me.

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Bernie Seigelisms

Some more notes from my class last Monday with Dr. Bernie Siegel.

  • Water is an incredible role model.The ocean waves never complain about smashing up against the shore. A river never whines about having to flow over rocks. A pond never gets annoyed because it is so small and still.
  • Actors immune systems respond to the role they are playing. Comedy increases healthy immune response measurements. Tragedy lowers immune system health. Be careful what roles you choose to play.
  • Act and behave as the person you want to be.
  • Decide who you want to be. Wake up tomorrow morning and be that person.
  • Do what makes you happy.Bernie Siegel’s mom said that all the time. He “got” it.
  • He had a cancer patient who said, “My mother’s words have been eating away at me for 30 years…” Eventually he manifested what was festering inside.
  • Bring forth what is within. Stop holding back emotions. Stop stopping yourself. Express. Flow.
  • Losing track of time is the healthiest state you can be in.
  • If you lose your health, go look for it.
  • When asking or even confronting a patient about the true cause of their dis-ease, asking them “what does this illness do for you?” What does this illness mean to you? What are the benefits you drive from your illness? What is the blessing in the curse? This is ASKING the patient it is not blaming them. Asking a person to acknowledge that their illness has meaning for them is not blaming them for having the illness. It does give them the power to change and may even save their life.
  • Death is not the horrible thing to be afraid of. Bernie choked to death as a young child. He saw himself lying on the bed. When his windpipe cleared and he was sucked back into his body he was “Mad as hell!” Most people who have experienced being clinically dead and then brought back express deep annoyance. What a drag! Life is hard.
  • Someone called Bernie to tell him he was going to kill himself. Bernie said “If you kill yourself I’ll never speak to you again!” and hung up the phone. His friend was really ticked off and showed up the next day furious. Bernie pointed out, “We’ll since you’re here yelling at me I guess you didn’t kill yourself afterall!”

Any thoughts? Leave a comment below! More next week.

A Healing Class With Bernie Siegel

Through a typically strange series of events I found myself last night sitting in a class room at Amity High School in Woodbridge CT with Bernie Siegel. For those of you who may not know, Dr. Bernie Siegel was a pioneer in the medical field 30 years ago. His radical idea? Treating patients like human beings. Talking to them under anesthesia like they were still in the room. Using drawing and imagery. Connecting the Mind and The Body. Radical ideas 30 years ago.

He was reviled by the medical community. Research has proven his ideas to be sound.

In other words the guy is awesome! Every NLP practitioner and Hypnotherapist on the planet owes this Bernie Siegel a huge debt. As do holistic MD’s. If you ever need surgery and the surgeon talks to you and about you while your under as a human being, you owe him.

So I’m sitting there. Bernie asks the 20 of us why we are there.

We each tell our story a little bit. Bernie comments and acknowledges.

  • Some are there because their well is dry and they need a shot of Bernie.
  • Others are there because they are struggling with illness or the illness of a loved one.
  • Others are there because they want to learn more, so they can help others more.

I wasn’t really sure why I was there. I think the healer needed a shot of healing. I’ve been struggling with some big questions in my life. Bernie told story after story that resounded in me.

His mom said all the time. “Do what makes you happy.”

That one hit a nerve. I’ve been working on that one. In spite of old beliefs and well meaning friends who say “Well, if you do something to pay the bills that might make you only a little miserable, then you can do what makes you happy on the weekends…”

His mother said “Do what makes you happy.”  My mother said, “You can’t always be happy.” My mother also said, “If at first you don’t succeed, give up!” (she meant it as a joke but my literal ears took it as gospel).

Bernie mentioned a cancer patient of his who said, “My mother’s words are eating away at me.”

For some reason through the 2 hour class my left eye keeps tearing up.

I am on the cutting edge in my life of doing what makes me happy. Writing songs. Recording them. Performing. Teaching NLP. Working with clients. Sometimes there is money. Much of the time there is not.

I keep moving forward anyway. Sometimes pissed off. Sometimes blissful.

I asked myself a big question in December. If I had only 6 months to live what would I be doing? The answer came. Music. Spending time with my family and friends. Simple.

So I’ve recorded all the songs I wrote last year. Learn more about it at MarkShepardSongs.com (Only 30 more volumes to go!) Along the way I discovered that the music business is in a delightful state of disarray. Everything is being reinvented. No one knows how to make a living from music anymore.

Do what makes you happy? How? Oh! I “get” it! It’s a new challenge. A natural Zen Koan for the student to solve.

As I clear each new challenge in my life old patterns bubble up. So I clear them. Next layer. Next layer.

Then a test to see if I can hold the shift…Sometimes I can. Sometimes I can’t. So what? Give it another shot.

We are never done people! NLP and hypnosis and Reiki and EFT and Time Line Therapy and every other approach offers the ability to clear through stuff that may have been holding us down for years. But it is not a magical pill. There is no such thing. You have to do the work.

Abraham Lincoln said: “If I had 8 hours to cut down a tree I would spend 7 sharpening the ax.”

These techniques of change and personal transformation and healing are equivalent to the ax. They are tools. Practicing the techniques is like sharpening the ax. But ultimately we have to get up off our “buts” and swing the damn thing at the problem. We have to take action. Sometimes we get blisters. Sometimes we slip and fall. Get back up. Give it another swing. and another. and another.

We have to put our money where our mouths are.

And that’s why I’m in the class. The coach needs a coach. The healer needs a healer. The teacher needs a teacher. No body is done. No one has all the answers. No one. Not even Bernie Siegel. He asks more questions than anybody.

I’ve been writing songs for 30 years. Couldn’t get them out. I tried back in 1979. Went to Greenwich Village expecting to be “discovered”. No one seemed very impressed. So “programmed” by my mother’s words.(if at first you don’t succeed…give up!) I gave up.

I got a job. I started a family. and ten years went by. When I started feeling like I was going to die. I had to get help. Studied with an Energy Healer named Mearah Marqua. 3 years later I was making a living as a kid performer. Added storytelling. Added Drums.

Another 10 years went by.

7 years ago I started to learn NLP, Hypnosis, Time Line Therapy, EFT, Energy Healing. I made a lot of progress and changes.Learning. Learning. Practicing. Experimenting. Having outcomes that were not what I wanted. We used to call them “failures”. Pulling myself back up from where I fell. Each time a little stronger.

It took some time. Life takes time. But I swung the ax. Now these songs are starting to get out on the internet and through projects like “Letters to Daddy” and “Together We Can Change The World. I’m performing family concerts at schools.I’m taking action. There are a million more things I could be doing. But I’m taking action. Sometimes I do something and it doesn’t seem to generate any income.

So I get frustrated. I replace the negative failure thoughts with the chant, “Why does it work out better than I can possibly imagine?” I ask the Universe, God, Atman, Allah, All That Is, whatever you want to call it, for help. Help me! Guide me! What do I do next? How can I get this stuff out into the world where it can do some good? How can I be a healer? How can I earn a living doing what makes me happy? Writing songs makes me happy. Singing them makes me happy. Recording them makes me happy. Helping people grow and transform their lives makes me happy.

You think God doesn’t answer prayers? Why then does a friend call me and say “Mark, I signed up for this Bernie Seigel class…oh and BTW I signed you up too.” ?

At the very intersection of our fears, doubts, struggles, wounds, and deepest desires lies healing.

In the next few days I’ll be sharing more thoughts from Bernie’s class.

As I re-read my notes and the handouts, my left eye starts to well up with a tear…One question he asks is this: “If you had only 15 minutes to live what would you do?”

If it’s warm today I will take my guitar and play on the street in Downtown New Haven.

Here are a few questions for you:

What are you going to do today that you’ve been stopping yourself from doing?

What would you do if you knew you could succeed?

Please leave a comment below. I want to know.

Victim or Volunteer?

Are You A Victim or Are You A Volunteer?

This video by Robert Smith does an absolutely fabulous job of explaining how we create our pain and problems as well as how we explain our screwed-up-ness to ourselves and how we maintain it.

Please watch this carefully and take notes. Let me know your thoughts. – Mark

Failure – The Secret To Success

This video is just awesome. Let me know what your best failure was in the comments below!

Okay, I’ll go first. My Biggest Failure?

Bought 4 houses for nothing down at the top of the 1980′s real estate bubble. Ended up losing everything. Declared bankruptcy. Got evicted. When all my grand schemes went poof! I ended up doing kids music for local nursery schools for $75 bucks an hour. That led to school performances and adding storytelling…created my DrumSongStory programs…which are keeping me going during this little economic “challenge” we’re having now.

Your turn!

Panic Attacks

My Dad forwarded an e-mail to me today with an article from the Health Sciences Institute News letter. It was a story about a panic attack sufferer who got a major amount of relief by taking a supplement called Inositol (a natural substance found in the human body). Interestingly, she also used a specific mind control technique to take command of her thoughts.

“I came to realize the panic attacks were not uncontrollable once I understood how they started and grew. I was basically creating my own panic by bouncing back and forth between past guilts and fears, to future non-existent terrors. Back and forth, again and again.

“Now I anchor myself in the present. I force myself to think about what I’m saying, force myself to stop recalling past ‘nasties’ and force myself to stop imagining them as even nastier future outcomes. I stay right here, right now, in the present. It takes determination and effort, but it works.”

Read the Full Health Sciences Institute News Letter Article

In my experience the more tools you have at your disposal the greater your chances of drug free relief. If a small dose of a supplement can help I’m not against it. I am against the pattern in our culture of treating the symptom but doing nothing for the cause.

The work I do with clients one on one and in my “Crush Anxiety” calls is all about clearing the root cause and having a full arsenal of easy to use tools to master your mind for a change. Using the NLP and Time Line Therapy™ processes I teach as well as Self Hypnosis and EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) it is often possible to eliminate phobias, anxiety and panic attacks in a very short period of time. Everything I do is designed to put the client in a place of power where you are in charge of your own mind. Another point I want to make is that by working with your unconscious mind instead of fighting it, you don’t have to necessarily use “force” to control your mind.

A recent example of this is the client I worked with on Friday. Emily had been physically attacked in a public place some 14 years ago and up until Friday, whenever she went anywhere she fully expected to be attacked and hurt. Here’s the voice mail message she left me a day later:

“I feel great! I walked to the bank today and had no feeling of fear about getting shot. And I owe this to you. The old pattern is just a distant memory. I’m feeling really excellent and really happy.”

Notice she did not say, that as she walked to the bank she forced herself to think positive thoughts. The changes we make sometimes require conscious awareness but almost never “force”. The beauty of NLP and hypnosis is that once the changes are made on the unconscious level things just become different.

BTW Emily and I had a great time doing her foundation breakthrough session from 10 am-4 pm. The way i work is relaxed and safe. She has agreed to write about her experiences working with me so watch for a several part article by her in the near future.

If you or someone you know needs help with panic attacks, anxiety, phobias, self sabotage, procrastination, PTSD etc. I can be contacted at: mark[at]markshepard.com or 203-495-8808.

I’m also doing two “Crush Anxiety” teleseminars this week Wednesday at Noon and Thursday Evening at 7:00 pm US Eastern Time

The cost is $97 and comes with my “Crush Anxiety” e-book and audio series. There are also a few scholarships available so please contact me by phone or e-mail if cost is an issue for you.

  • Register for this month’s CRUSH Anxiety Call
    Wednesday, March 11 at Noon Eastern Time

    or

    Thursday Night, March 12 at 7:00 pm Eastern Time

    For a one time fee of only $97 you get to work with me over the phone in a small group as well as get my Crush Anxiety E-book and complete audio set as my gift ($197 value). If you’ve been on one of these calls before you are welcome to come back any time or as many times as you want for free. Lines are limited so register now.

    Courage!

    Mark

    p.s. If you or someone you love is suffering from phobia, anxiety, or panic attacks please stop waiting to contact me. In light of our economic crisis I am willing to consider payment plans, barter or any other creative way to value the help I offer and create a fair exchange that is a win/win for both of us.

    E-mail: mark[at]markshepard.com

    Telephone: 203-495-8808

  • Twitter 101

    Twitter 101Twitter Tips for the Modern Jedi NLP Mind Master

    I’ve just finally “got” what twitter is all about. And I think it justifies a post so that I can share some of what I’ve learned and some of the resources I’ve discovered which may help you to get right to it. If you are wondering what twitter has to do with NLP or the Way of the Modern Jedi, it’s this: Tiwtter is a powerful tool to build your practice, and to rapidly build a community of people who are interested in what you have to offer. For folks like Noah St. John and Tony Robbins it’s a way to stay in touch with “the faithful” without clogging up their e-mail in-boxes. For me it’s a way I can reach out to people with specific interests in Music or NLP or who may be local. It’s flexible and a lot of fun.

    The other day I saw a short post from some one I’m following on twitter it said: “I just ran with scissors!”

    I wrote back “I just stood on a chair!” It was something that took only a moment and it made me smile. I also recently had lunch with some folks here in New Haven who I met on twitter. You never know till you get into it.

    So here are some basics:

    First things first:

    Go to http://twitter.com and sign up for an account.

    It is best to use your real name if you can get it. (Use upper and lower case so your first and last name stand out.) The new social media is about being real and accessible. If you advertised your practice in a holistic publication like “Natural Awakenings” you wouldn’t use some silly user name would you?

    Make sure you fill out your location and short, one sentence bio. Make sure that you leave the box for “protect my updates” empty. You want to be in the public stream.

    Next. Follow me. You can do that by using the twitter search function or just use this link: http://twitter.com/MarkShepard

    The next thing you need to know about Twitter is that it is considered polite to follow those people who follow you. And unless some one is completely objectionable it’s a good idea. You can tell almost instantly from a persons follow/following ratio whether they “get” twitter or not. If someone’s following about the same number as are following them they are most likely going to follow you back when you follow them.

    There are a couple of programs that can even automatically follow people who follow you and send them a welcoming message. You should get one of those when you follow me. It has a link to my http://MarkShepardSongs.com site where they can get free downloads of my songs.

    I use http://www.SocialToo.com but I like http://www.TweetLater.com also. Check them both out.

    Some people make a business pitch in their auto follow e-mail. This is not about making a sale. It’s about building a community and contributing something to that community. The best one’s offer some kind of legitimate help. Like the guy I followed who in his follow back pointed out I could change my twitter username from markshepard to MarkShepard. Just  a helpful little tip. I appreciated it. Most of what I’m sharing with you here today I learned from short little tweets on twitter.

    And that’s what twitter is all about. It’s people helping other people and making themselves useful.

    It’s not what it first appears to be, which is a platform for the self absorbed to trumpet their every moment of their dull mundane day. It’s about having conversations and making connections that gracefully lead people to what you have to offer.

    Once you have a twitter account and have followed me, click on the link on your twitter home page titled “Everyone”. Just take a few minutes and read through the most recent posts.Any time you see someones user name preceded by an @ symbol you can right click and open their twitter page in a new tab. If they seem interesting to you go ahead and follow them by clicking the “follow” button. You can unfollow them at any time by clicking the same button on their page.

    Please note: if you follow a bunch of people who have fewer than 100 followers and who are following a small number they most likely are newbies and will not have set up the auto follow process. You mostly want to follow people at this point who have a strong likely hood of following you back. One of our goals is to rapidly build social proof as well as a community of people who we can tweet to.

    The best resource I found for getting a massive number of followers in a short time is Scot Mckay’s short video. Scot is also one of my favorite dating and relationship coaches and he is a master of the new Web 2.0 social media world. So if you’re not into dating or healthy relationships just focus on what he has to say about twitter. I have watched him go from 1,000 followers to over 25,000 followers in the last three weeks or so. Following his advice I’ve gone from 100 to well over 1,000 followers in about 2 weeks with very little time or effort spent on it. Plus I’ve connected with some great info about music marketing on the web etc.

    How To Get 1,000 Twitter followers in 12 Days by Scot Mckay

    Also his video “Why Follow Everyone Back On Twitter” is excellent as well.

    Scot McKay also offers a free e-book called Twiduction” that has a lot more nuts and bolts of how to pimp your twitter profile. You should do that even if you are not trying to attract dates. Just take his “how to” advice and use it in your own context. Everything in it works perfectly well for attracting business clients. After all business networking is a lot like dating…(I know, material for yet another post at another time)

    Any questions? I’d be happy to answer them. Just leave a comment below. I look forward to Tweeting with you soon!

    Mark

    Just so you have them in one place here are some additional twitter resources to check out once you get going.

    http://www.friendorfollow.com this enables you to see at a glance who is not following you back, who you are not following and who are your mutual followers/following folks.

    http://www.twitter.grader.com this enables you to search specifi key words like NLP or localities like New Haven or Connecticut so you can find people who you might want to follow.

    http://www.TweetDeck.com this handy application is actually much easier to use than the regular twitter home page. you can see all your follows tweeting by you in real time. it also does some handy things like automatically shorten any long URL that you might be passing on to your Tweets.

    Elizabeth Gilbert on Creative Genius

    Elizabeth Gilbert, author of “Eat, Pray, Love,” muses on the impossible things we expect from artists and geniuses — and shares a radical idea. It’s a funny, personal and moving talk.

    Please share this with a friend!

    -Mark

    NLP In Business

    For many of us out here on the front lines of entrepreneurship, there is one constant that either makes us or breaks us…

    And that’s US!

    As cartoon strip character Pogo said many years ago “We have met the enemy and he is us!

    Ultimately, wherever we are is the result of our thoughts, beliefs, values, decisions, and actions (BTW “inaction” is actually the action of not doing anything).

    Since NLP provides us with easy to use maps for recognizing and changing our own blocks, patterns, behaviors, fears etc. it makes a great tool for business people. What I love about folks in business is that they “get” that if something is costing them, they have to change it.

    My business clients “get” that if they spend $100 dollars to clear something that’s holding them back and hurting their company or their success and they make an additional $100 dollars, then it wasn’t a “cost” it was an investment that just paid for itself. If that $100 investment brings a return of $200 or $1,000 then it is a “no-brainer”.

    Typically, I find that when people clear the block that has held them back they go on to exponentially increase their income and their effectiveness as leaders in their respective fields.

    Two examples that come to mind of people who have made revolutionary change in their lives as the result of learning NLP are Michael Guerin and Rob Bronson.

    Michael has been kind enough to share his story with my readers on a number of occasions as well as on the phone and in an extensive video interview.

    The bottom line for Mike is that before he worked with me he could barely use the phone. He literally had a phone phobia. He also suffered from agoraphobia so basically, he couldn’t get out and meet and greet new clients and he couldn’t call prospects on the phone! Not a recipe for success in business! We did my basic NLP breakthrough process and within hours he was on fire! As he said in his interview with me, “It was really strange because it was like the old pattern was just gone! As if it had never existed in the first place…”

    Mike has gone on to increase his Credit Card Merchant Processing business so much that he is now training other associates to work for him. He has also expanded into helping other business owners make sense of online interactive marketing. In this severe economic climate Michael Guerin’s businesses are thriving and growing by leaps and bounds. That’s the power of NLP to help us get out of our own way.

    Which brings me to Rob Bronson. Rob is my good friend and technical adviser. This blog format and all the videos I’ve been doing is the direct result of Rob using my own NLP stuff on ME! I had a lot of technological RESISTANCE. which Rob helped me to release!

    I first got to know Rob when he took my “Reluctant Sales Person” training a couple of years ago. And immediately started implementing the tools and techniques he’d learned there. As a genius level technical guy, Rob had a little trouble relating to the rest of us non-geek types. Through the NLP sales training he learned how to speak another person’s language and how to communicate the way other people preferred to communicate so that he could maintain rapport and get his message through in a way that could be well received.

    Rob learned how to get out of his own world and to enter into the world of his client.

    A year ago Rob and Mike and I began to meet every Monday in a “Master Mind”. We would frequently spend the entire day learning about internet marketing and search engine optimization, blogging, copy writing and basic business tools, techniques and philosophy. We also continually put NLP into practice and shared our successes and challenges. We supported each other and acted as sounding boards for each other. Personally it saved my business and my sanity on a number of occasions.

    At one point Mike did not even have his own website up. At one point Rob was living in someone’s basement. At several points, I was tangled up in my own “stuff” and they helped “coach” me through the tunnel and out to the sunlight.BTW we all need the help of other people. NLP does not make anyone invincible or perfect.

    It was a year of stripping the paint down to the surface and sanding and honing ourselves. and then as the financial storm clouds gathered back in the fall of 2008 something magical happened, Rob and Mike began to form a partnership that was all about helping other people in business save time and money and benefit from what they had learned and put into practice…

    Now with their new business Best Web Presence they are so busy I haven’t seen them in weeks. They are signing up clients left and right at a time when there are thousands of “Chicken Littles” running around screeching “The sky is falling! The sky is falling.”

    The point of my story is that there is a set of tools and techniques that if used properly will enable you to clear through the clutter of your own thinking and patterns of behavior. Once you clear the personal blocks that are holding you back, fasten your seat belt because things can change rather quickly. At this time last year neither Rob, nor Mike nor I knew how far we would have journeyed from where we began. It truly has “turned out better than they could possibly imagine…”

    Does rapid change seem to be pretty scary to a lot of folks? Sure. But that’s a subject for another post…

    If you are curious about how NLP can help your business please call me at 203-804-1208 or e-mail me mark [at] markshepard.com. You can also learn more about NLP Certification here

    Please share this post with anyone you know who may be struggling with their business or who may be ready to break through the blocks and experience more success.

    - Mark Shepard, NLP Trainer, Songwriter, Visual Artist, Author, Speaker…