Modern Jedi NLP Mind Mastery

Archive for December, 2008

Just have a moment to share one key thought with you today:

What questions do you habitually ask?

The reason for asking is this – Your unconscious mind responds to questions more powerfully than any other kind of self talk. So if you want your affirmations to really create change internally, turning them into a question can make a difference. Noah St. John calls these affirmations in question form: “Afformations”.

What happens is your Unconscious Mind hears a question and begins to activate a process that is hardwired into our neurology. For example if you ask yourself “How can I find a way?” You Mind begins to filter your reality and it begins to find ways to answer you. It begins to draw your attention to answers.

So listen today to what you ask yourself. Are you asking disempowering questions like “Why am I such a __________ (negative label)? or are you asking powerful questions like “why am I in the right place at the right time doing the right thing for the highest good?”

Now, if you’ve been following my posts lately you might recall that a few weeks ago I started asking myself a series of very, “dangerous” questions. I only mean “dangerous” in the sense that the answer might disrupt my comfort zone. Sometimes “danger” is a good thing. Ask any bungee jumper!

The questions were: “If I had only 6 months to live what would I be doing? What would I stop doing? How would I spend my time?

I got several answers.

1. Record each and every one of the almost 400 songs I’ve written over the past 30 years.
2. Spend as much time with my friends and family as possible
3. Share my music with as many people as possible.
4. I would stop trying to “be everything to everybody” (Listening to my own song “Motivation” reminded me of that. Listen to “Motivation” here

If those were the answers, the “dangerous” challenge was to do that. Now.Not next year. Not next month. Now.

If you really and truly acted on what you say is most important to you, how would your life change? No matter we “say” is most important, it’s what we “do” that really demonstrates it.

Sometimes that’s that last thing I want to hear!

For me it became clear that renting a large beautiful, expensive apartment was less important than my 3 priorities. But daring to let it go even if I didn’t know where I would be going (even if it made me sad) opened up the possibilities. One idea was to put all my extra stuff in storage and travel from friend to friend, family member to family member, connecting and performing along the way. Performing could mean a guest spot at a local church, performing at a Starbucks, or even on the street.

All of a sudden other places to perform began to show up on my internal radar screen. At one point I performed at hundreds of elementary schools each year all over New England. Lately that has been down to just a few each month. But did it fit my criteria? Yes. So I began to ask questions about how I could re-connect with all the schools I’ve previously performed at…

Performing at colleges is another area of immense opportunity. I had just started to break into that market 5 years ago or so when I discovered NLP and shifted my focus to that…But certainly college students would not only be open to music but they could benefit hugely from “The Way of the Modern Jedi”…

Performing at festivals and local acoustic music venues had been something I’d been “gonna do” for a while…there’s a lot less money in that market and having a high rent made me look elsewhere. With less overhead, less pressure. Time to make contact…

Now here’s the interesting piece, does this decision to truly “surrender” to my music and “honor” my creative work stop me from practicing NLP?

No! It actually makes it more possible because every where I go as a performer I can share my story of how I was able to overcome my performing anxiety with NLP! AND since I have written so many songs influenced by NLP sharing that fact wherever I go and inviting those interested in learning more about NLP could easily and effortlessly spread that work in a congruent way.

Wherever I share my story from the stage of crushing anxiety and the stories of the many people I’ve helped to overcome their own anxiety without drugs or endless therapy through NLP, people can see for themselves the result. So it just may be a more effective way to get the word out…

So that’s just a bit of the process going on over here with me. It all started with asking some powerful questions.

What’s more important is, what are your thoughts? What questions are you asking yourself at the close of this year?

Please feel free to share some of your questions below.

In case you need some help with questions try these on for size:

• If I had only 6 months to live how would I spend my time?
• What’s one simple thing can I do today to live fully and abundantly?
• Why does it work out better than I can possibly imagine?
• What resources do I need to attract to myself so that I can truly make a positive difference in the world?
• What would be the most rewarding thing to do?
• How can I have fun today?
• How can I live fully today?
• How can I ask for help?
• Who can I ask for help?
• What am I grateful for today?

Please let me know your thoughts and comments below.

thanks!

- Mark

p.s. BTW as a result of my last post and being willing to ask for help and willing to admit that “I don’t always have all the answers” a good friend of mine offered me a place to stay for 3-6 months. another friend offered me a place to store my stuff. Another friend appeared who has all the administrative and logistical skills/aptitudes that would enable me to truly focus on what I’m good at…Is work involved? yes. Does it scare me to move out of my comfort zone? yes. But it also feels positive and exciting!

The question that I ask the most is: “Why does it work out better than I can possibly imagine?”

Try it! Write it out long hand!

Today, I don’t know where to begin. I have a lot to say.

So I’ll just jump in and hope you'll join me for a few moments because this is one of the most important announcements I've ever made.

By now it’s pretty hard to avoid the panic and the fear all around us. It seems in so many ways to be the worst of times...We may know intellectually that within each failure there lies the seeds for greater success but sometimes it’s really hard to feel it. It's a full blown "Crisis".

A wise man once pointed out to me that the Chinese character for "crisis" is a combination of the symbols for "Danger" & "Opportunity".

As the blanket of Christmas slowly gets pulled up around us and the stories of hardship and uncertainty gather like storm clouds, some of it is hitting pretty hard and close to home. For me personally, the holiday season has always been bittersweet. This year even more so.

In fact the very nature of the traditional Christmas is solemn and beautiful and sad.

A family of meager means, finds lodging in a stable. A child is born without proper medical attention who would soon be the target of assassins, and who would grow up to meet a painful and harsh end.

Even if you are not remotely religious, you can not help but relate to the story.

And so in the face of what can only be called a “major financial challenge” I found myself at the end of my savings. All the marketing and advertising I’d done had basically fizzled. Staring at my bank balance and the pile of unpaid bills on my desk felt really bad.

This wasn’t supposed to happen. I’d learned NLP in order to increase my income as well as to clear the junk that was holding me back from getting my music out. Unfortunately it seems like in order to properly honor NLP it would mean putting my music back on hold.

So here I was not feeling very resourceful. It felt like the end of a road that didn’t take me where I thought it was going to take me. Still there was the glimmer that perhaps it had taken me where I needed to go.

As I sat pondering how to pay my past due rent, how to stay positive and hopeful…

As I contemplated how I was going to feed my 3 kids who were coming to visit next week…

As I contemplated how I was going to feed myself…

I got an e-mail.

It was from my friend and mentor, Kathy McAfee, who had commissioned me to do a video of “Motivation” (the song I wrote inspired by her work). She had just sent it out to her list and one of her contacts, Fran Capo, had seen it and wanted a theme song too.

So I got in touch with Fran and began to learn more about her and what her mission and message is.

Get this: she’s the Guinness book of world records “Fastest Talking Female” she also holds the records for deepest book signing (at the Titanic) and highest book signing (on Mt. Kilimanjaro).

So I got inspired. I wrote her a song in a very short time. Because everything about Fran is about speed, and just getting stuff done. And living every day as if it is your last. I sang it to her over the phone and she loved it. By chance, my recording engineer, Joe Mennonna was available that afternoon so I drove over and recorded it. By 6:00 pm the song was mixed and ready to play.

You can hear it here. Listen To Adventure Girl - Fran Capo Theme Song

But that’s not the point of this post!

For me the message was clear. As I was sitting that morning asking for guidance, I was going back and forth between what I thought I “should” do and what my heart was “calling me to do”.

I have worked my brains out the last 5 years to build an NLP practice and an NLP training program. I’ve helped quite a few people and the work is rewarding. But the business model doesn’t work very well. I help people transform their lives and then they don’t need to come back any more! Many of the people I want to help can’t afford me. And I couldn’t help them for free and still pay my bills…In NLP we call that a “double bind”.

The talk therapy business model where the client comes back every week for eternity is much better (at least for the therapist).

But the fact is that when I asked myself a very specific question the answer got my attention.

Here’s the question: “If I had only 6 months to live what would I spend every one of those last precious moments doing?”

The answer had 3 parts:

1. I would record every single one of the almost 400 songs I’ve written that have yet to be recorded. I don’t write the music down so in order to preserve them I need to record them. Even if only my kids were able to listen to them it would be worth it.
2. I would get my butt out and perform every chance I got even if it meant going from Starbucks to Starbucks or finding a street corner.
3. I would spend as much time with my friends and family as possible.

That’s it. Pretty simple.

And I actually am doing that on a small scale. I’ve gone into the studio a lot recently and I just did my first concert in 2 years. But I wasn’t truly giving it 100% because I was so busy with all the other things…

But the main reason I hadn’t given 100% of myself to it was a limiting belief. It was a belief that I couldn’t make enough money to pay my rent and all the other bills I had by merely singing my songs.

But at this point, all the marketing and promotion and advertising I’ve been doing to attract people to my NLP trainings and Anxiety clearing work wasn’t paying the bills either.

In NLP we have a concept that basically says: “You get what you focus on. So focus on what you want.”

So I asked the universe for a sign. What do you really want me to do with my life? How can I serve the most people in the highest way while taking really good care of myself and my family? How can I honor this gift I have of writing songs? (I mean it’s really kind of a “healthy compulsion”. I write songs like a horse gallops or like a bird flies. It’s just totally and complete natural for me. Duh! )

Moments later I got the e-mail that Fran Capo wanted a theme song.

If that isn’t an answer I don’t know what is.

So in the next few weeks I will be packing my stuff away and putting everything I own in storage.

I will be letting go of my beautiful apartment overlooking Wooster square and I will be staying with a series of generous friends and family members (see number 3 above).

And I will be using all of my NLP skills to book myself at coffeehouses, and colleges and churches and libraries and yes…Starbucks.

I’m going to be asking you for your help.

• It may be as simple as asking you to pass a song along to a friend who might need to hear it.
• It might be as affordable as downloading a single song for $2. bucks.
• I’m definitely going to ask you to invest in one or more of my CD's. And when you do I’ll send you a 2nd one for FREE that you can share with a friend. 
  Mark Shepard's CD's Available Here
  
• I’m going to invite you to come see me perform and I’m going to ask you to bring a friend. Please join my mailing list at the top right hand corner of this site so you'll get advance invitations.
  
• If you have a big enough house, I’m going to ask you to consider having a house concert and inviting all your friends. Together we can change the world. Call me today to get started. 203-804-1208

If you've been reading my stuff for a while you know my message is about hope and empowerment and healing and transformation and joy.

Yes, I’m a little scared. Not of performing any more (thanks to NLP that's totally gone) but of moving out of my comfort zone. And that’s a good thing. We all tend to get comfortable and it soon becomes a rut. Eventually a rut can feel like a prison.

So let’ use these challenging times to challenge ourselves. What would you do if you had only 6 months to live? Leave a comment below and let me know.

And ask yourself honestly “How can I start doing that now? How can I start even in a small way living my life on purpose today?”

Thank you for your support and encouragement!

Mark

p.s. Please leave me a comment below and “stumble” or “dig” this or e-mail it to a friend.
Thanks!

Kathy McAfee is one of my NLP master practitioner students. She has taken NLP and immediately applied it to her work helping executives with their presentations, as well as in their corporate leadership development. I sat down with her in beautiful Wooster Square Park in New Haven, CT on one of the first warm Spring days.

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Check out the Modern Jedi NLP Certification Training

An old story: there was a frog that was put in a big cauldron. Because the cauldren was large, the frog felt perfectly comfortable. So even though it could have jumped out at any time, it stayed put. As the pot gradually heated up over the fire...the frog did nothing. The water was warming gradually. By the time the water was so hot that the frog was boiled...he was well, boiled. If the water had been heated suddenly the frog would have had the good sense to jump out.

Ever feel like that frog?

Yesterday we explored the idea of what a "motivation strategy" is. It's an unconscious process or "program" that enables us to move from a state of "not motivated" to "motivated."  For some people and in some situations it may be a challenge to get out of a "procrastination strategy" and get moving towards taking action.

Whether your strategy is working or not may determine how stuck you get in procrastination as well as how long it may take you to break out of it and get started on cleaning the garage or doing that term paper.

By the way, we don't need to be motivated to do stuff we enjoy. We usually need an effective strategy to get to the stuff we do not enjoy doing.

So how do you usually break out of a stuck state? Do you move away from the bad things that will happen if you don't finally buckle down and get to work or do you move towards how good it will feel when you accomplish your task? Or do you do some combination of both?

If you "move away from" how bad does it have to be before you get moving?

If you "move towards" how do you do that?

In other words, do you need the carrot or the stick? And how much of either one do you need to get stuff done?

In working with other people either in leadership roles as managers and team members or as parents and teachers, it helps to know how someone is wired if we want to influence or inspire them to action. Do you need to communicate the cost or the pain of not taking action? Do you need to threaten them with being fired or other dire consequences? Or do they respond much better to the promise of a bonus or a big commission check?

If you use a stick on someone who is motivated by the carrot you risk totally losing them. If you use a carrot on someone who requires a bit of stick to get going it just won't do the job.

In dealing with ourselves, particularly in our careers, becoming aware of this leverage point can make the difference between success and failure.

• To learn more about NLP strategies and how to elicit and change them in yourself and others check out my NLP Practitioner Certification Training
  
• To get all pumped up and motivated Watch my Motivation Music Video

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So what is is for you? The stick? Or the carrot? Or some combination of both? What gets you motivated?

Have you ever stopped to think about the process of motivation? How do you know it's time to get motivated to do something? Have you ever felt a lack of motivation and then suddenly something shifted and you got a jolt of energy?

In NLP we do quite a bit of work with helping people to overcome procrastination and engage their motivation strategies. In fact the discovery that we actually have unconscious strategies (or programs) that we "run" in different situations to create behavior is one of the key distinctions that makes NLP so much fun. It's also part of why we NLP'ers are considered "rogues" by traditional psychology.

Think about it this way. How do you know it's time to be motivated? Or even better, when you are motivated how do you even know you are? Is it something you feel? See? Hear?

Can you remember a time when you were motivated? A specific time? As you recall that time, do you have a picture? What about a feeling somewhere in your body? Do you have any sounds or music that kick in? Are you saying something to yourself or can you remember someone else saying something to you?

Assuming you have a picture, what happens if you take that picture and shrink it down and push it far away and make it really dark and tiny out on the edge of the horizon?

Chances are you don't feel so motivated any more do you?

Now bring that picture back in at 100 miles an hour and make it big and bright right in front of you. More motivated or less? Typically people feel more motivated by doing that.

The point of this short exercise is to demonstrate the power of your MIND and the ability each and every one of us has to affect our inner world.

So today think about that.

Tomorrow we'll explore what the big deal is about "moving away from" vs. "moving towards"...

To see my new music video "Motivation" click this link

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